Dear Honor-Roll Parent, Little Yukiko in Tokyo is in the same grade as your kid but five years ahead in math skills. Boast on that!
To the motorcyclist going 120mph in a T-shirt and shorts: Mind your head. Brains are slippery, and could cause me to skid.
To the girl texting while driving: Your career as a typist is a lock, you don’t need to practice every minute.
To Bumpersticker-Christianity-v-Darwinism-Debaters: Let’s start at a point on which all rational folk can agree – you’re all ignorant
To the sleepy trucker who ran me off the road: Let me swing my 80-ton big rig at your Kia and see how tired you are then.
Dear Grampa, Maybe slowing down is not the best solution to a 12 foot range of vision and an 8 minute eye-to-foot reaction time.
Dear Wanna-be Gangster, Sit up – no one is shooting at you… yet.
Dear Smart Car, My condolences for the kin I saw being scraped off the undercarriage of a Hummer.
Dear Hummer owner, Your H1 is equipped for the in-drive refueling missions you may need to get from your house to the gas station.
Dear Officer running code to get home for a date, Don’t rush. She doesn’t like you; she’s just dating you to see if you can fix her ticket.
Dear News Radio, please stop playing soundtracks of sirens as background to your news stories – you’re freaking me out.
Dear Blue Ray in the Car, Remember ADD? Imagine what a kid who can’t go 15 min. from home to school without being entertained will have.
Dear Slack-jaw, Your rattail is flapping in the wind dangerously close to the trigger-guard of the shotgun in the rack behind your head.
Dear kid with the earth-shaking speakers, Turn it down. We don’t all have the same taste in music. Some of us like music that DOESN’T suck.