Tyler Durden was right.
We are consumers, all.
If we don’t buy needless crap
our entire economy will stall.
They hook you as a little kid
with endless serial toys,
Fun Meal promises reel you in,
“collect all six, have eternal joy.”
For what earthly reason
would one need a Chia Pet?
I bet if it starts looking sickly
one can even call a Chia Vet.
I have all the same music on vinyl,
8-track, cassette, and CD.
Now they sell it as a handful of nothing
in a format they call MP3.
And that is only where it starts.
Soon I’ll have to replace all my books.
But first to answer the basal question:
“I-pad, Kindle, Sony, or Nook?”
I bought a computer three weeks ago,
and fear that it’s now become obsolete.
Riders of Vespas and Segways glide by
saying, “Why is that guy on his feet?”
I overheard a lady recently say,
“I couldn’t live without a heated seat!”
Has our species really become so fragile
our asses degrade without application of heat?
Well excuse me, now, I’m off to the store.
I’m Jonesing for some cheap impulse buy.
I hear there’s a new kitchen widget
that will simultaneously bake, boil, batter, and fry.