Category Archives: Humor

How to Kill a Rogue Yard Gnome, Part 3 of 4

Notes: a.)    Part I can be read here. b.)   Part II can be read here. c.)    Sorry, I meant to do this in three installments, but this one was getting long. d.)   For the best reading experience, assume all of the continuity gaffes in … Continue reading

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How to Kill a Rogue Yard Gnome, Part 2

[Part I can be read here.][Note: this story is also being posted on my website Tao of Loafing.] Five nights ago, as the sun sank below the horizon and the glow of vibrant colors faded, we three were visited by a … Continue reading

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How to Kill a Rogue Yard Gnome, Part I

[NOTE: This was also posted on my Tao of Loafing site.] Five nights ago, coming home at days end, nosing my car into the drive, I startled. Where my headlights should have roamed over a patch of bare grass, instead … Continue reading

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NASA Finds Poetry of Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings

The poetry of Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Greenbridge, Essex, England was thought to have been completely lost when the Earth was demolished to make way for an interstellar expressway. However, a scrap was found adrift in space. Scientists believe the sheer awfulness of the poem may have made it impervious to incineration, which is to say that the rays of the Vogon demolition beams refused to land upon the piece. Continue reading

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Drunken Monkey Got No Kung Fu

[NO ANIMALS WERE INJURED IN THE WRITING OF THIS POEM.] jungle nights, so very scary creepy-crawlies, beasties hairy caws, screeches, and echoed calls no protection of moat or walls just the thinnest nylon tent then, an idea, heaven-sent who can … Continue reading

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NotSo-Zen Haiku

There are many haiku that seem to express an instant of satori. These are not those haiku. The first may be partially recognized. It is an homage to Kobayashi Issa. Even while sleeping Budda receives offerings How’s one get that gig? Unearthly pigeon dropped … Continue reading

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Once I ruled the parade

It’s the nation’s bicentennial,
and I’m in the parade.

In a small town,
everyone is in the parade,
except the cheek-pinchers
and crotchety Gus.
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Haiku Correspondence with Nature

Dear Tick, I admire
your most resolute nature,
but please unhand me!
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Zombies are Coming to Town

Ignoring pains.
They seek your brains.
The Zombies are coming to town.

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Milky Molly: or, Extreme Lactose Intolerance

Milky Molly was a girl
who drank her milk until she hurled
it out her mouth and out her nose
and over the fence like a garden hose
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